Search Site
Diana Neuner, MS, LMFT
​Counseling and EMDR Therapy in San Diego      Tel: (858) 366-3624
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Fees
  • EMDR
  • Resources
  • Contact

Boundaries and You

2/11/2012

0 Comments

 
Do you know someone with good boundaries? One thing about them is that they do not allow others to "dump" on them and they manage their time and self-care well. Boundaries are an important aspect to our health and well-being. Without boundaries, life becomes more stressful and may cause resentment, anger and illness. Having healthy boundaries means that you understand how you want others to treat you and how you treat yourself. If you have unhealthy boundaries, relationships become overwhelming. For example, without boundaries you may do everything for everyone, babysit when you prefer not to, talk at length with someone when you are late for an appointment, tell a new acquaintance your entire personal life story, invade the space of your friends by trying to advise, guide and make them change, fall in love at first meeting or continue dating someone even though you do not want to pursue the relationship. If these examples sound familiar, these are likely the unhealthy boundaries that may have increased your stress, unhappiness and anxiety. Here are a few helpful behavioral changes:
1. If someone requests your time, simply state that you will think about it and contact he/she later. We tend to feel obligated to give an immediate response but taking the time to respond later after you check your datebook helps to protect your personal time. 
2.  New friends do not need to know every detail of your personal life so soon. Try to give the new relationship time to develop and gain your trust and respect. 
3.  Learn to say “no.” If you do not have time to babysit a friend’s child, state that you are not able to help today. No excuses needed. 
4. Manage your personal time well. If you plan your day for yourself, do not allow unnecessary or non-emergency interruptions including phone calls and email. Write down your daily plan and stick to the plan.
5.  Try not to avoid people. Avoiding adds more stress. You may honestly explain that you are managing your time or cannot meet with your friends which is better than avoiding someone to guard your personal time.   
0 Comments

    Categories/Archive

    All
    Boundaries
    Community Contacts
    Community Support
    Depression
    EMDR
    Emotions
    Grief And Loss
    PTSD
    Relationships
    Work

© 2010-2020 Diana Neuner Counseling and EMDR Therapy in San Diego
San Diego/Sorrento Mesa 92121. Diana Neuner is a California psychotherapist. The office is centrally located near Sorrento Valley, Torrey Hills, Carmel Valley, Del Mar, UTC, La Jolla, Mira Mesa, Scripps Ranch, Clairemont, Pacific Beach, Poway, Rancho Bernardo and close to Interstate 5 and 805 Freeways.