Do you know someone with good boundaries? One thing about them is that they do not allow others to "dump" on them and they manage their time and self-care well. Boundaries are an important aspect to our health and well-being. Without boundaries, life becomes more stressful and may cause resentment, anger and illness. Having healthy boundaries means that you understand how you want others to treat you and how you treat yourself. If you have unhealthy boundaries, relationships become overwhelming. For example, without boundaries you may do everything for everyone, babysit when you prefer not to, talk at length with someone when you are late for an appointment, tell a new acquaintance your entire personal life story, invade the space of your friends by trying to advise, guide and make them change, fall in love at first meeting or continue dating someone even though you do not want to pursue the relationship. If these examples sound familiar, these are likely the unhealthy boundaries that may have increased your stress, unhappiness and anxiety. Here are a few helpful behavioral changes:
1. If someone requests your time, simply state that you will think about it and contact he/she later. We tend to feel obligated to give an immediate response but taking the time to respond later after you check your datebook helps to protect your personal time.
2. New friends do not need to know every detail of your personal life so soon. Try to give the new relationship time to develop and gain your trust and respect.
3. Learn to say “no.” If you do not have time to babysit a friend’s child, state that you are not able to help today. No excuses needed.
4. Manage your personal time well. If you plan your day for yourself, do not allow unnecessary or non-emergency interruptions including phone calls and email. Write down your daily plan and stick to the plan.
5. Try not to avoid people. Avoiding adds more stress. You may honestly explain that you are managing your time or cannot meet with your friends which is better than avoiding someone to guard your personal time.
1. If someone requests your time, simply state that you will think about it and contact he/she later. We tend to feel obligated to give an immediate response but taking the time to respond later after you check your datebook helps to protect your personal time.
2. New friends do not need to know every detail of your personal life so soon. Try to give the new relationship time to develop and gain your trust and respect.
3. Learn to say “no.” If you do not have time to babysit a friend’s child, state that you are not able to help today. No excuses needed.
4. Manage your personal time well. If you plan your day for yourself, do not allow unnecessary or non-emergency interruptions including phone calls and email. Write down your daily plan and stick to the plan.
5. Try not to avoid people. Avoiding adds more stress. You may honestly explain that you are managing your time or cannot meet with your friends which is better than avoiding someone to guard your personal time.