Search Site
Diana Neuner, MS, LMFT
​Counseling and EMDR Therapy in San Diego      Tel: (858) 366-3624
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Fees
  • EMDR
  • Resources
  • Contact

Guilt after Caregiving and Loss

3/18/2013

0 Comments

 
Are you crying all the time, sleeping odd hours, or not sleeping at all and suffering from nightmares and memories of caregiver events? Your recent routine was caring and now there is a void and you may be confused  about the future. These are common symptoms after loss. But sometimes after the support from family and friends has ended, the dreaded symptom and silent fuel for depression and anxiety may actually be guilt. 

Guilty feelings after loss are that you did not do enough, made the wrong decisions, took too much action or not enough action, could have given more pain medication or gave too much pain medication, could have stayed longer, visited more, prevented the fall, stayed at the hospital for a few more minutes longer, and the list goes on and on. Memories flood during the night and sleep is often nonexistent. The tears of sorrow become the tears of guilt because the memory of someone suffering is too much to bear. The intrusive thoughts of guilt keep us focused on something in the past we believe we could have changed but may not have been possible at the time.  Flashbacks of an incident remain in your memory keeping the guilt alive and the result may be depression. So the next step after loss may be to release the guilt feelings to reduce the chances of a great depression and start to care for yourself. Easier said than done, but it is a step in the right direction.

Many ways to begin caring for yourself could be exercise or walks, meet with a friend who had similar experiences, journal your thoughts and feelings, watch comedies, get a massage, meditate, eat healthy foods, and definitely attend individual or group therapy and talk about the feelings of guilt. Share those feelings of guilt and expose those feelings so they no longer control you. The care and support you provided may have been significant enough to cause symptoms of PTSD so do take your feelings seriously. Take care of yourself for doing an enormous job of caring for your loved one because you had the strength to be the caregiver. Now it’s time to take care of you.   

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Categories/Archive

    All
    Boundaries
    Community Contacts
    Community Support
    Depression
    EMDR
    Emotions
    Grief And Loss
    PTSD
    Relationships
    Work

© 2010-2021 Diana Neuner Counseling and EMDR Therapy in San Diego
San Diego/Sorrento Mesa 92121. Diana Neuner is a California psychotherapist. The office is centrally located near Sorrento Valley, Torrey Hills, Carmel Valley, Del Mar, UTC, La Jolla, Mira Mesa, Scripps Ranch, Clairemont, Pacific Beach, Poway, Rancho Bernardo and close to Interstate 5 and 805 Freeways.